confessions of a crazy mother pt.1

Confessions of a crazy mother. Part1

I have been a mother for 15 years now. I've read many books on how to bring up your child. I swear to god I tried to follow them, until I decided to throw it out the window and just play it by ear. My role model, my mother, just do the opposite of everything she did, and hope that works.

I take credit for my daughter’s intelligence, not because of my genes but rather, I played classical music to her when she was a baby! I had read somewhere that stringed classical music and piano music is good for a child’s logic. After 2 months I found it so boring, that I stopped playing the music for her. I must say, it worked.

 But, the music had its own side effects, on me. Every time my child would wake up for a feed in the early hours, I would play the music while I breast fed her. One night I did that and I suddenly woke up because my baby had rolled down my lap. She had almost rolled down to the floor had she not got caught at my feet. She looked quite confused as to why the breast was fading away from her! I stopped playing the music.

Sometimes I would put her down next to me on the bed and feed her. It was a miracle that I did not smother her with my boob, which was bigger than her face; I really believe the Angels protected her from me, because I would suddenly wake up, to find that my boob had covered her face. Crazy, right?

Another time, I needed to go to the loo, and I kept yelling for someone to come and take her, but no one was there. I put her in her rocker, strapped her in and put the rocker up on basin table. I didn't put her on the floor because I felt it would be too unhygienic. She was very restless; I think she was about 6 months old. She kept moving so much, and the next thing, the strap unfastened and she lunged from the seat and was falling down head –first. I squealed and dove forward, grabbing her just in time inches from the floor. She looked startled at first, and then began to giggle. I was so shocked, I was just imagining her hitting the floor and her skull splitting open. I was so furious with myself. I almost killed my child! I never told anyone about this.

I am the sort of mother that believes in a child sleeping comfortable during a long flight. I used to give her a cough syrup and she would sleep for a good 6 hours. At least the one year old would not disturb other passengers!

I thought that I would be environmentally conscious. I would use cloth nappies, which would get soiled quickly, and sometimes my baby would be in the damp nappy for a long time , causing  rashes. That is when I thought, screw it! I began to use Pampers. So much for the environment!

I wanted my child to be able to read early, so I put her in school at 20 months. She didn't like it, and although we lived 5 minutes away from the school, we were always the last to get there. She would be so unhappy to go, and it broke my heart. A Montessori  School. She rebelled, and refused to learn how to fold napkin and pour water in cups, etc. Till today, she cannot do it, the experience traumatized. She did learn one thing though, was to defend herself against bullies. She learnt to fight back when a boy began to ambush her and beat her. I told her never to allow a boy to hit her, she should hit back. She does that till today!  Yeah! I then changed her to a Waldorf School  when she was 4 and she was so happy there.

To be continued........